Tuesday, January 10, 2012

how do you share the news?

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step."  Lao Tsu


Husband and I kept hush-hush about absolutely everything, until we knew for sure we were going to move.  The deal was signed, sealed, delivered and it still took a few days to muster up the strength to tell our children.  But we didn't start with the children.  We first told our own parents.  Well, I take that back.  Husband first told his parents.  For him it was easy.  His immediate family is represented in four different states already.  For me, I am the first one in my entire family of relatives and relatives-twice-removed and ancestors, to leave the Pacific Northwest {well, there was my aunt & uncle who moved to Texas for a year and came back}.  For me and my family, this is a MOVE, not just a move.  In fairness though, I really have already been moved away these past 7 years.  I am a 6-hour drive from my immediate family.  So, they have had some time to adjust to me being away.  Nevertheless, the phone call to announce the news was hard.  And made me want to throw up.

I mean, how do you tell someone you're moving?  It really deserves a proper announcement because it's huge news, especially when the move is taking you so far away.  But you can't go around making proper announcements.  That's silly.  So, you have to face that it's going to be awkward.  And be prepared for almost any reaction.  There is no way to say it that takes away the random surprise.  You call or talk to a friend or coworker in person and the conversation usually begins with catching up and sharing the latest news.  And then...what?  Well, you just have to say it.  "Hey guess what?  I'm moving.  Husband is kicking some serious booty at his work."  Whoa, wait, what?  I compare it to ripping off a band-aid.  You just have to rush to get it all out so they know all the details at once.  Then, after your rapid-fire overview of the promotion, the move, the where, the how far, the when, etc., you can finally breathe and give the listener a chance to respond while you wince in pain.  

The good news is that my parents, as usual, are super supportive and plan to visit often.  My brother is stoked about how many things we can go see when he comes to stay.  The conversation was reassuring and good and I know that I have the best family in the world.  And that we will be visiting Vermont, all together, for as many winters as we possibly can.  

The family has been told.  But now how to tell everyone else?  I still haven't.  In my defense, my kids and I still have plenty of time left in Spokane.  So, we are keeping it off Facebook for now and taking our time.  McKenna has told her friends and Jackson has told his, so some families know.  But I really haven't talked to anyone about it.  No, I'm not in denial or anything.  I just don't know quite how to start that conversation.  But I will.  And of course, I'll share how it goes.

Do you have any ideas for how to tell the news to friends and coworkers?  Doesn't Facebook kind of add a whole new dimension to the sharing of important news?  


3 comments:

  1. Leaving is hard, in that way. My family moves overseas when I was 12--I'm not sure exactly how my parents decided to tell all of our relatives, but I'm sure it wasn't easy. By now, though, I'm moved so many times I think moving away from my current home would be easy!

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  2. I have made 5 major moves in the past 10 years. It is hard every time to tell my close friends. It hurt even worse the last couple moves when my sons had to tell friends goodbye too. We have never lived very close to family, so that part has not been as difficult. Hopefully we are done moving now!

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  3. Nearly 10 years ago my husband and I left our hometown, but we only moved 2 hours away. It was hard for us, so I can't imagine the adjustment you've had to deal with. I think telling people any big news is best done in small chunks. It seems to get easier every time you have to explain it.

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