Friday, January 13, 2012

how do you tell your kids?





































Here I am with McKenna this morning.  As you can see, she looks like she loves me.  It doesn't appear that I've ruined her life or anything.  And I'm happy about that.  :)

Just seven days ago, Husband and I broke the news of our move to the children.  We had planned on telling them a little sooner than that, but chickened out a few times.  Timing is everything and we wanted to get it right {or as right as possible}.  We made our announcement at the dinner table, once everyone had finished eating.  I honestly don't know how I even managed to eat anything, I was so nervous.  But we did it.  We started with the good news first {new job} and then went into the tough news {super duper far away}, and the mood changed from resounding hoorays to heart clenching boohoos.  There we sat, one mean dad + one mean mom + 3 sobbing kids = agony.  We let the kids ask questions and share their thoughts.  We tried our best to put them at ease.  We gave them permission to be sad and mad and scared and feel whatever they were feeling.  We understood.

And after just a short while, the tears stopped.  There were smiles again.  The silent treatment was nixed.  When we should have been tucking the kids in for the night, we instead all piled into Mom & Dad's bed and rummaged the internet for houses in Pittsburgh.  We shared our likes and dislikes, we imagined and dreamt.  We made requests for our future home.  The kid's requests had no budget, of course.  They are smart, you know.  It's best to dish out ridiculous wants when parents feel guilty.

The kids have all had a week to absorb the news and I am so happy to report that they are strong, healthy, and ready for the adventure.  They have each shared the news with their friends and have had much support from those relationships.  They also realize that they still have plenty of time to spend doing the things they love, with the people they love.  They are happy to be finishing the school year here in Spokane.  We are thankful for a long, slow goodbye.




4 comments:

  1. I still remember my Mom telling us that we were going to be leaving our home. We were at Arby's. I was 11 at the time--she told me and I just started crying. The rest of my little sisters and brother started jumping up and down, "Hurray, hurray!" They were very excited. But Mom bought us all chocolate pie from Arby's in an attempt to cheer me up. To this day, all of my siblings still love moving. Which is a good thing considering how much they have to do it!

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  2. Oh Misty. I've been there!! Guilt is a terrible thing. Five years ago my kids were 10, 7 and 5 and we picked up and moved from NJ to AZ. To top it off, to do so we had to sell my "family home" that had been in my Mom's family for 3 generations. It was less than a happy time, but it was a NECESSARY move for our family. It was something that had to be done. There were tears from our oldest and middle, the baby just cried because everyone else did. I'm still here in AZ and my family is all still on the East Coast, but if you ask my kids today if they want to move East again, they all say NO!! Life happens and I'm sure its all for the best for everyone!! This reading backwards is fun!

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  3. Man, that is so tough! My family moved back when I was in high school and it was so stressful - and we only moved about a mile away! I didn't even have to change schools. I can't even imagine what it must be like to pick up and move so far.

    Really enjoying this link-up!

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  4. Good Morning Misty, I moved a lot as a child and the biggest trauma for me was leaving Cyprus as a 6 year old and moving to England. We moved to Yorkshire which is much, much colder than Cyprus. Cyprus has a beautiful Mediterranean climate. I couldn't understand the accent, so changing schools was awful, but children are resiliant, and I soon made new friends and settled, but my heart was always in Cyprus.
    Even now, at my age, Cyprus is a place I love dearly. I have so enjoyed reading everyone's posts. Have a lovely day. Best Wishes Daphne

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