Wednesday, January 23, 2013

getting healthy inside & out. it's time.


I accept myself unconditionally right now.



The quote above is displayed on my bedroom mirror. I borrowed it from the documentary Hungry for Change {and they probably borrowed it from another source}.  It's become part of my morning ritual, to stand on the scale of shame, look into the mirror and say those words to my own face - to say the words until I believe them.  I accept myself unconditionally right now.  It's quite a journey to accept those words as true.  I can think of multiple things I'd love to change, things that I think will make me love myself even more - my weight, my lips, my teeth, my eyebrows, my wrinkles, my sun spots, etc.  But it's really not possible to make changes {or realize some things don't even need to be changed} if I don't love myself and accept myself right now.  Honestly, I'm pretty awesome, right?  I'm a great mom, I try really hard to be a good wife, I am a good person, I work hard, I do the right thing, I am fairly balanced, I am nice, I take care of myself for the most part, and so on.  I shouldn't be so hard on myself.  WE shouldn't be so hard on ourselves.  We should LOVE ourselves.  Today.  Right now.  For everything.  For our flaws.  For the good stuff we like.  Just because.  WE ARE WORTH IT.

Never-the-less, things needed to change for me.  I haven't been the healthiest I can be.  A Diet Coke addict for years, I was suffering from headaches on a daily basis, plus an afternoon lag that made me feel worthless.  Dehydration was constant - no water and all of that aspartame.  Every night I became bloated and had stomach pains, retaining water.  I removed my wedding ring every night before bed because my fingers would swell so tightly.  I could not lose weight, not matter what I tried.  I have been steadily gaining weight for a few years, just a few pounds at a time.  I have probably gained close to 12 pounds in two years {I realize that weight gain differs for everyone and 12 pounds might not seem like a lot to some}, and if I kept going on like that, in two more years I could put on a total of 24 pounds.  It all adds up.  I was on a cycle, heading in a direction I don't want to go.  But I kept making excuses and justifying the weight - I'm still not classified as overweight, 68% of American are overweight so I'm not alone, it's normal to add on pounds the older a person gets...  I felt helpless.  I was not motivated to change my eating habits or to quit drinking aspartame or to get off my butt and move.

And then suddenly it clicked.  I got tired of making excuses.  I looked at myself in the mirror and said, "Misty, you are an ADULT.  You need to start acting like one.  Mind over matter.  You CAN change. You can have what you want.  You can CHOOSE.  Choose to be healthy.  Choose to be fit.  Just shut up and DO IT already.  Geez."

And so Husband and I bought a juicer to kick off my road to health with fresh vegetables and fruits. And although I've only just started my juicing journey {a juice for breakfast plus a juice for lunch}, I already feel such a difference.  I have also rid my body of Diet Coke and am drinking 8+ glasses of water a day.  In two days of juicing {while eating 1200 calories per day}, I have already lost two pounds.  It feels like a miracle!  Something I had given up on.  Yesterday was the first day in a loooong time that I didn't develop a headache or have any stomach issues.  Amen!  And there was no need for an afternoon nap!  Plus I did 30 minutes of cardio!  It was a phenomenal day!  And my plan is to keep going!  Two juices per day, lots of water and exercise.  I've joined myfitnesspal.com to keep track of my fitness progress and I love the site.  It allows me to keep a fitness and food journal and reminds me how many calories I have left for my day.  Plus it allows me to give/get support from friends!  If you want to join me, please do!  My login name is acrossanddown!

So, while I work on accepting and loving myself the way I am, I am also showing my body some much needed love and respect by treating it the way it is meant to be treated.    

There is one other thing I've been doing for about ten days now.  I've been taking Skinny Girl vitamins for hair, skin and nails.  I just pour a packet into my water bottle two times a day.  It's delicious and I can feel it working too!


 Unable to find them in stores, I order them from Amazon and have them shipped to my door!






Thank goodness for vitamins that aren't horse pills!
What are you doing to get healthy?

P.S. I added a new Health page {up top} if you want to peek in and see my progress or join me!


18 comments:

  1. You are so beautiful. I don't think you are fat at all. I really love the way you dress and your hair! And your lips :) :) I just realized today you have green eyes too. Awesome.

    I am 5'6. I weight 160 pounds. I eat healthy and exercise and take a vitamin and husband and I really want to get into juicing but we are both so busy! I really don't mind the way I look and I don't think I'm fat, even if I'm not a stick. I probably could loose a few pounds, but I'm not going to obsess over it.

    As for loving yourself--sometimes I think people take this to far. Like yourself, be happy with who you are. I think some of today's youth think they are owed something--you know what I mean? I think that I also am such an inherently selfish person--I already love myself to much. I want clothes. I want money to do this and that. When do I ever think of others? I want to look this way, I want my hair to do this, I don't like being sick, I don't like being in an uncomfortable situation--- I hate to wear shoes--everything I do seems to be about me. It's very hard for me to put my husband first. Many of our fights are about "You made me feel like this"...

    I think I already love myself enough, and I need to learn to love others more, and take the focus off myself, my needs, and my wants.

    Not trying to say anything controversial-- I've just heard "love yourself" so many times and I'm so very tired of it!


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    1. Thank you for your honest thoughts! :) Yes, we do tend to think we are very deserving as humans, don't we? We deserve everything right now. I think some of us buy things to fill a void. We think stuff will make people like us and if other people like us than that must mean we're worthy. It's sad. The kind of love I'm talking about is just plain love and acceptance - that our flaws are part of us and part of our beauty {inside and out}. That if I truly love myself as I am, then I won't need to change myself or buy love from other people. It's beautiful, that you love and accept yourself just as you are. And you take good care of yourself. I want that too. :)
      I am not fat, that's true. But my body is unhealthy and has been hurting for a long time. It's time for me to show it some love and fill it with good fuel. I want to live for a very long time. :)

      I think you're amazing, Carloynn! You have such good insight and I thank you for sharing and making me think differently about things. :)

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  2. Wow Misty, way to go! I've always thought you're one hot mama (hope that's not weird) and such a fashionista, but this post just shows that living a healthful life is something we all need to work on, whether it looks like it from the outside or not.

    I've been working on getting healthy since I had my daughter, almost 10 months ago (sob!). When I began my journey, I would weigh myself frequently, but after a while it was so frustrating because I would lose weight, then plateau then gain a pound or two back. Plus, at that point I was only 4 months postpartum and still exclusively breastfeeding. Anyway, I digress. My husband finally hid the scale from me because he was tired of seeing me cry over a number when I was working hard at being healthy. That's what's important, being healthy. Eating good food, staying hydrated, moving your butt every day. The number will go down eventually if you do that, but you can't focus on the number. Focus on being.

    The scale is still hiding somewhere, but I don't care. Slowly my body is changing, my clothes are fitting differently, or not at all. But more importantly, the way I live my life is changing. I like to workout now! It's pretty insane!

    Oh, and I have to say, what Carolynn wrote was amazing. Self-love is the bane of our society. Yes, you need to have a healthy view of yourself, and you should take care of your body, but ultimately, you need to do so for the sake of others. Take care of yourself so you can be a better spouse and better mother. So that you can give back. I love the quote "Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less." And in that way, you can think of others more :)

    Godspeed, Misty!

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    1. Oh my goodness, I am getting some really amazing comments today! :) Thank you, Ellen! I remember those postpartum days of trying to get back into my clothes {and many failed attempts}. I had such high expectations. I was so sick during my first pregnancy that I didn't gain any extra weight {I had lost so much in the beginning that it balanced out at the end}, so I wore regular jeans home from the hospital {disgusting, I know}. That DID NOT happen with my next two pregnancies, but my mind seemed to think it should have. :) I have avoided the scale for about two years, just checking in every once in a while out of curiosity. I was totally against the idea of being judged by a stupid number and I completely wanted to focus on how my clothes fit and how I felt. When I exercised, I definitely saw a difference. But then I started noticing {when I did manage to weigh myself once every few months} that I kept putting on a few pounds. And suddenly one day a week ago, I stood on that stinking scale {WHY OH WHY??} and was shocked. I hadn't stepped on it once, even though it's right there in my bedroom, while we've lived in this house for 6 months {Husband uses the scale daily and it has been beneficial for him}. It was a wake-up call, along with the other signals my body has been trying to send me for years. Headaches everyday? Swelling?? Something had to be done. So, for now I'm stepping on the scale and I'm going to be a little self-involved until I'm feeling really good. I set my weight goal realistically and I'm totally not stuck on that number {I think we only go until the chest area start going, right? HA!}. I would like to get to the point you are at - enjoying my workouts! And then I think I can just be. :)

      And even though I have a goal I'd like to meet, my favorite part is the journey and hard work. It's how we learn, isn't it? Our failures and our successes. And if I can open myself up along with way and make friends in the process and even help others, that's not too shabby. :)

      Carolynn is awesome and so are YOU!!!!

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  3. I'm super-duper impressed that facing the scale on a daily basis motivates you! I think it's my deep-seated hatred of all things math. Those evil numbers piss me off!

    Thanks for opening up and for sharing about your postpartum experiences as well as your new endeavor. It's nice to feel solidarity with others!

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    1. I'm sorry to laugh at your disdain for scales, but the way you worded that "deep-seated hatred of all things math" just made my whole entire day! Thanks for the little chuckle. :)

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  4. I'm not too narcissistic to admit that I don't know everything about self-love, but I do attempt to give myself a little love everyday. And I do love my children with all of my heart and I do want them to love themselves like I love them. Same with the husband. We are not bad people and we are confident in ourselves. We are also caring and giving in this world. I find that I make a greater positive impact, the more love/belief I have in myself. I do know that not everyone who arrogantly states that they worship themselves really does love themselves, rather they just try to gain attention to make up for their miserableness. I know love is mistaken for many things. And I can assure you that me loving myself, as tiring as it might be to hear, is what I wish for everyone. If you could see yourself the way I see myself sometimes, just real and honest and good and bad, you'd be filled with all kinds of good, awesome stuff!

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  5. Sorry, I didn't mean to offend, Misty. Personally, I need to work on self-love as my natural tendency is to be overly critical of myself. I just have a knee-jerk bad reaction to the phrase "self-love". It makes me think of celebrities who do terrible things in the name of "following their hearts" and "loving themselves". Hello Kim Kardashian?!

    Not saying your like Kim Kardashian! Except in that you're beautiful :)

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    1. I mean *you're*. I HATE getting that one wrong!

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    2. Oh goodness, I totally didn't intend to direct my last comment at you personally or anyone personally. My whole post today was just supposed to be something meaningful about me choosing to take better care of myself. I truly put myself on the line when I type my posts {as all of us bloggers do} and I am completely open to comments, but I guess I just didn't expect that I'd spend the entire day trying to wrap my head around self-love and what it means and if it makes me a bad person because I am choosing to focus on myself right now in this way. I promise you did not offend me, you even made me laugh. :) I completely meant my responses to you and thank you for taking the time to comment and share your thoughts. I decided the best way for me to share my thoughts was to simply put my words in a comment box too. And so I wrote what I was feeling about self-love. The "you" wasn't meant for you, it was just meant for anyone reading, but now that I read it again I can see how it might be misconstrued. My bad. I am sorry about that. :(

      Let's do this... let's have a do-over! Hi Ellen! It's lovely to meet you! I think you're beautiful too! :)

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    3. Haha, deal! Hi Misty! Wonderful to meet you too! BTW, I'm working out with Jillian Michaels too, and this week I moved on to level two of the 30 Day Shred and it caused me to have my first experience with postpartum urinary incontinence! Damn Jillian!

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    4. The 30 Day shred is crazy, isn't it? I die. I start wondering why our house is so hot and who turned up the heat and if it's okay to open a window when it's 8 degrees outside. And Jillian shows no mercy. She makes me wet myself too {in fear}. :)

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  6. awesome post...I can't get as deep as the other ladies, but I think you look great! I know where you are coming from, the scale starts to creep up and the bloat, ugh!! I need to get off the diet crack too. I am going to have to check our the skinny girl vitamins

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    1. thank you for not getting deep...bless your heart. :) Why does Diet Coke have to be soooooooo good? I still have sips from the kids' glasses. I'm only human. So I guess I've made it public that I serve my kids Diet Coke. LOL.

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  7. Great post, Misty! I can totally relate to the slow, upward creep of the scale. And the Diet Coke addiction. And the headaches, and late afternoon crash! I was in denial about my weight gain until our doctor's office made our medical records available online. Then I couldn't avoid the truth, it was right there in black and white! I've put on close to 10 pounds over the last three years and am not happy about it. But I haven't made a real effort to change anything. In my 20s, I could lose weight quickly and easily... but that just ain't happening anymore. ;-) You're an inspiration!

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    1. Our 20's. Ahh, those were the days weren't they? It's not fair because I still feel so young, don't you? That's great you can see your medical records easily now. That reminds me, when I started gaining weight and I was early into the denial period, I swore that the doctor's scale was totally wrong and my old scale at home was totally right, even though the little red hand started a pound or two before the zero. I liked that extra cushion. The scale at the doc's really can't lie can it? Such a shame. :)

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  8. Misty, congratulations on taking the first step towards better health! I think it is so important for mama's to take just as good of care of themselves as we do our family, but so often we push our own needs to the back burner. The last few years i have felt run down and tired ALL the time, not to mention I thought I looked awful. Starting a blog was a real game changer for me, because for the first time i was focusing on something for myself and that in turn made me a better mother and wife. I'm all for self love...bring it! Good luck! But seriously I think you look AMAZING..that hair, is so think and luscious and you are a hoot, you always have be giggling. Your personality is fun and contagious!

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    1. I agree with you completely! It's so easy for mama's to put themselves last. I even intentionally put myself last for the whole moving process. I knew I could handle it for a while, getting everyone's needs met before mine, but the kids are all doing well and now it's my turn! I might even be a better, happier mom very soon too! I love blogging too. it is such a great outlet and opportunity to reflect, isn't it? And meeting awesome ladies like you!!!
      Thanks for your support! I can feel you through the internet!

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