Monday, May 20, 2013

we should all have days like this.

Last August we moved into our house in Pittsburgh.  It has almost been one year since the move and I don't know if the year could have blown by any faster.  This was a crazy one.  There are those certain moments in my life when I feel a strong sense that I am in the exact place I am supposed to be in that moment.  Have you ever felt like that?  For me, although I have only felt that strangely awesome awareness a handful of times in my life, it has brought me a sense of peace and validation for all of the hard decisions I have ever had to make.  The truth is, my life is good and I know it, but sometimes it just rocks to feel like I'm on the right path.  When I first started back to college, all those five years ago, I chose to study Early Childhood Education because, well, I don't know... I liked kids.  Other than that, I just really wanted to earn a degree and didn't feel like being picky.  But when I started my classes and became involved in the program, I had an overwhelming sense that I was supposed to be doing exactly what I was doing.  I was so emotionally charged every single day, driven in my work with children and in my studies.  It was so unbelievably fulfilling and rewarding and challenging and good.  I felt the same feeling last February, when I decided to continue my education at WGU.  It just felt right and continues to feel right, although it's a completely different and unique experience.  It fits.  And then today things clicked for me here in Pittsburgh, at a PTA meeting of all places!  I felt like I was supposed to be there.  I belonged.  Finally.  Starting now, I'm going to be playing the role of the yearbook photographer for the middle school.  How fitting is that? I get to be out there and doing things for kids, while hiding a little bit behind the comfort of my camera. I'll be forced to put myself out there, which couldn't be more perfect since I'm a bit of a recluse.  As I sat there at the PTA luncheon, I just felt part of something larger than myself and I haven't really felt that in quite a long time.  I have no expectations.  I am unconcerned with changing myself to fit anyone's mold.  I am simply content with today's small moment; when I stepped outside of my comfort zone and it didn't even suck.  Not even a little.

And then to top that off, I have joked with the kids that I really don't have to worry about running into anyone I know since we are new.  And I have never ran into a familiar face, even at the grocery store.  Until today.  A mom went out of her way to approach me at Target and stopped to chat and say hello.

It felt damn good.

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