Sunday, November 3, 2013

thankful for home.


Our new neighbors moved into the house across the street a few weeks ago.  In an attempt to meet them and welcome them into the neighborhood, Husband walked over right away, only to meet the mother-in-law.  She was very friendly and noted that we would be seeing her a lot because she would "always be there."  Sounds like a blast, right???  From that time, we have seen numerous family members arriving and leaving at all hours. Sometimes there are five cars parked in the driveway, sometimes only two.  It is a hustle and bustle and a completely different scenario than the house that sits across the street from theirs {ours}.  Not one is better than the other, just different circumstances.  We are the only family we have in Pittsburgh while it's apparent their entire family resides in Pittsburgh.
On Halloween night, we finally met the new owner of the house when she brought her young child to trick-or-treat at our door.  She was super nice, we welcomed her to the neighborhood, we let her know that we are fresh from a move ourselves, and when she found out where we were from she asked an interesting question.  She asked, "Do you think you will ever move back home?"  Husband and I were both caught off guard, gave each other a quick sideward glance, and I explained simply that home is wherever we are and {more specifically} where Husband's job opportunities take us.  I'm sure we sounded completely foreign to her, given by the concerned look on her face. We said our goodbyes, let her know we're here if they need anything, but her question has stayed at the back of my mind since then.
Do you ever think you will move back home?  I think that depends on your definition of home.  If home is where the majority of my family/relatives live, then that would place my home in the vicinity of Portland, Oregon.  If home is where the majority of husband's family/relatives live, he really has the option of living anywhere east of Texas, so technically we are home.  But if home is where your immediate family lives {spouse and children} then home can be anywhere, right?  And that is what I have learned most about moving across the country.  My definition of home changes with each circumstance I am in.  No matter where I am though, that is my home.  I go through leaps and bounds to make it feel like my home for me, for my husband, and for my children.  And I have no expectation that any of my children will choose to live near me when they are married and making their own family decisions.  Will I love it if they want to be nearby?  Yes, of course.  But we have given our children wings since the day they were born, even though it hurts to see them not need us sometimes, and we hold tight to the truth that if you love them, you must let them go.  Guilt free.  We just warn them that we'll be visiting often!!  They can run, but they can't hide.
I am thankful for a definition of home that meets our needs.  It allows us to love where we are in this moment; no looking too far forward, not looking too far back.  We open our home to visitors and we travel to see the faraway people we miss and love.  When I go back to visit my parents, of course so much of that place still feels like home, but it is always nice to return to my own home too.  If home is where the heart is, my home is spread up and down this fine country and I am thankful that there are so many places I can go and feel right at home.  :)

My parents will be visiting in just a couple weeks and that's like a double dose of home!!
So blessed!



3 comments:

  1. Well said! We just moved to Texas from Tacoma last month. I *want* us to be here to stay. I *want* this to feel like home to my husband and kids (and me). Like you said, I'm doing everything I can to make this feel like home. I pray it does!

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    1. That is quite the move, Tacoma to Texas! Wet to dry. :) Just give it time and it will feel like home. It took quite a bit of time for us {mostly me} to adjust. What actually helped the most was when we went back to visit Oregon and Washington and then returned home to Pittsburgh. Upon our return it really sunk in that I was home and it felt good. I think my husband had it the easiest, having a place to work and coworkers and goals and such. My kids adjusted well because they had school and friends and work and activities and goals too. I had nothing but the lonely house for the first few months, but now I have my own goals and things to do. I wish you the best!

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  2. This was a good post to read as a reminder that it all works out with time. We just moved two weeks ago from the east coast to Grand Rapids, MI. My husband and kids seem to have adjusted just fine but I am surprised at how hard its been for me. We lived in our last house for ten years and I had such a good support system of friends and community. I miss the familiarity of my old life. I know that home is where your family is and that the rest is just geography but I sure am missing my old geography!

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